December 8th, 1899
Anne, my darling,
I could not delay my response to your letter I received this afternoon. I feel feverish just thinking about the coming weeks. I have all the classic symptoms of what Bash refers to as a “lovesick moke.” He is going to tease me relentlessly, I will have you know, but I could not care less. I feel so lucky to be where we are now, and sometimes, I have to say, I too pinch myself on my wrist, just to check that this is all real and not just a dream. I have adopted that Anne-habit too, my love. I replay that moment of you pinching your wrist in your ethereal blue dress and our unguarded expression of love for one another a million times, and the thought that I will be seeing you in the flesh in under two weeks makes my heart race almost uncontrollably. All the simple pleasures that we have yet to experience as a couple are exactly what I am craving. A walk, a talk, a shared meal. Our families together at Christmas. I am finding it almost impossible to sleep just thinking about it all, but I put the sleeplessness to good use. There is much to study and revise and I sometimes feel inundated by it all. The volume of work to cover is daunting, but then I think about our reunion that is looming and I know I can soldier on through anything!
I am suddenly realizing, more and more, what Bash is going through, as I write this letter and it is making me full of melancholy. I started a letter to Bash a week ago, and it sits on my desk with a few lines written. I am feeling so heartbroken for him, and I am finding it too hard to write to him. Do you remember sitting in the church together? I thought about it as I was attempting to write to him last night. The beloved Cuthbert family alongside me, witnessing the union of two people that had rekindled laughter and love in my home. And then, the birth of precious Dellie. My heart is so sore from it all. Mary deserved more time on this earth, darling Anne. I miss her and feel desperate for Bash, Dellie, and Elijah. Forgive me my love for this moment of pure sadness. Caring deeply is the right thing but it is often overwhelmingly painful. All these feelings make me realize that I am so lucky, Anne. I am so lucky that I have you to share my feelings with. It is such a gift that we have this precious opportunity to journey through life together. We must make the most of every minute we have together, always.
On to our plans. I have decided that nothing can stand in the way of me seeing you in the finery that Aunt Jo has planned, and that I must be there for the Winter Dance as your beau. We make an excellent team on the dance floor as I recall, and I want us to make a new memory together. We will have to make sure that we get to dance the Dashing White Sergeant again, and this time we can stare at each other and hold hands whilst dancing without reserve. I have enlisted Al’s help to ensure that I come suitably attired for the special occasion. I will be accompanying the most beautiful young lady in Charlottetown and I must make sure I look the part. You say I am quite the catch, Anne-girl, but I know the truth. You have made me the luckiest man in the world, and I will love you forever for it!
My love, I must sign off for now. I send you all my love and I am willing the days till we see one another again away. I will send a telegram with all travel details in the coming week for the Winter Dance.
My love always,
Gilbert